The Strategic F Bomb


In my blog post entitled “Be Empowered! Our Words, Thoughts and Actions Matter” I discussed the power of words and how one FEELS when we use different words.

I wanted to share how I talk about the topic of profanity in my office as well as how I handle this topic in my own home.

Listen here:


In the show I mention that I love data and I appreciate this article in Quartz entitled, “A linguist’s love letter to profanity explains why it’s fine to curse around kids.” The article goes on to talk about UC SanDiego Professor of Cognitive Science, Benjamin Bergen’s scientific findings that he includes in “What the F: What Swearing Reveals About our Language, Our Brains, and Ourselves.”

When you read the article Professor Bergen explains that data is lacking on this topic as it is not easy to get parental consent for a controlled study exposing children to profanity.

“As for everyday four-letter words, there’s no scientific proof that exposing children to “ordinary profanity-four-letter words-causes any sort of direct harm: no increased aggression, stunted vocabulary, numbed emotions or anything else,” writes Bergen.

We need to remember that the words we choose are surrounded around by a context of circumstances in any situation.

A shout out expletive while being cut off in traffic can impulsively just happen, that is how my son learned the F Bomb from me.

Everything in life is an experience

We have daily opportunities to reflect, to teach, and to engage in discussion with our children about the quantity, quality and context in which words are used. 

 This is part of mindful parenting.

I brought up my 2018 fraud inspired  “Don’t Fuck With My Kindness”  mantra in the show. It is a phrase that you do not even need to say out loud, you can just choose to think it to yourself.

Creating your own mantra can serve as an emotional release of anger, fear, betrayal and can then be alchemized into “compassion in action” towards yourself or others in real time.

You can use the power and energy of any situation to “level up” and this may include or not include profanity.

“Be Loving. Be Kind!” Is my daily no profanity mantra that keeps me in the space of grace.

I reserve the use of the F-Bomb for specific occasions to allow a release of an intense emotion. I discuss this in my office, on my show and in my home. 


Our words, thoughts and actions are powerful. Being aware in the moment of the words we choose is a game changer. Choose wisely and with discernment.

Dr. Denise